Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Holding Out For A Hero

Hey you big hero, check out my latest essay in this month's Advocate.

(fab illo by Daniel Zalkus)

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Queens Land

HIt up north for a quick getaway to that Great Barrier Reef, before it becomes an Exxon oil refinery. Still rather marvelously fishy, folks. Get at it while you can. NYC friends Wayne and Iqbal flew over the frozen Hudson to head with us up to Queensland for a few days of perfect summertime paradise.
Jump for my love!
The Real Housewives of Whitehaven Beach...
...or a chance to use my selfie stick.
Whitehaven Beach is advertised as the most gorgeous beach in Australia, but it was "stinger season", stingers being the teeny tiny but potentially deadly Irukandji jellyfish. Being so far from an airlift to the hospital (already it was a 1.5 hour catamaran ride from Hamilton Island to this remote stretch of sand) if we wanted to go in the water we had to wear these clunky stinger suits. 
A bit like the garden of Eden - all we wanted to do was eat that apple. So we did jump in this perfect water without the suit for a few moments at a time, and then scream bloody murder because who can resist that kind of hilarity? Almost as funny as my picture of this drunk guy Wayne's cartwheel. 
From Hamilton Island, which has its own airport and is just two hours from Sydney (and all owned by one person, apparently) we also took an excursion to REEF WORLD. Which sounded tragically touristic, but we went anyway - because now we can say we've been to REEF WORLD... which is this very large pontoon way out on the Great Barrier, Hardy Reef to be exact, a full day excursion that caters for the lowest common denominator, including the Chinese who can't swim.
Reef World
And for REEF WORLD visitors who can't or don't swim, Chinese or otherwise, there is a semi submersible and even a viewing area below deck… just look what they spotted.
"Look, it's a Merman!" "More like ETHEL MERMAN."

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The World's Last Pen Pals

In 1988, I wrote to the Australian consulate fishing for a pen pal. I was in love with marsupials, and I also hated my life and constantly thought of far-flung lands, far away from the war zone of Fowler Junior High. I received my very first letter from Merryn in March of that same year, and we wrote furiously back and forth across the Pacific, sometimes every single day. I couldn't wait to race home after school because opening the mailbox to find her letters was the highlight of my day. 

Reading about life on a 2,580-acre sheep farm in Armidale, NSW gave me a glimpse outside the hell I was living and allowed me to imagine I might one day escape. She wrote about riding horses past roos, gum trees and noisy galahs, and always how Presbyterian Ladies College was screwing her up. She'd nobly try to convince me that working at McDonalds was not uncool in Oz, or that I shouldn't commit suicide but wait and do it later because just think how much worse life will be at like age 24. We'd sign our letters "friends forever" and I'd receive awesome mix tapes with songs by stars no American had heard of: Johnny Diesel, Jason Donovan, Bros, Kylie Mole and Minogue…

My dad took me to meet her in 1990 and since then we've only met in person a handful of times, but in all these many years we have never stopped writing. It's several times a year now instead of several times each week, but opening the mailbox to see my name written in her messy scrawl is still the highlight of my day. And today she's 40. Happy Birthday, Merryn. You're the lady love of my life!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

El Culo Del Mundo Se Va Ensuciando... Vamos Tercermundistas!

Surprise, Argentina! A prosecutor, Alberto Nisman, is found dead alone in his home a day before he was to testify to a presidential cover-up of Iran's involvement in the bombing of the AMIA building, which killed 84 Jews in 1994. They want to call it a suicide.


For her part, President Cristina Kirchner now claims that his suspicious death surely was orchestrated by forces plotting against her government. I lived in Buenos Aires at the end of last century and then president Carlos Menem, a man so corrupt it cost him the life of his own son, was also implicated in covering up the bombing - he is of Syrian descent. Menem had also previously pardoned all those responsible for the murderous atrocities of Argentina's 1970s Dirty War, claiming the perpetrators had acted under "forced obedience". I always felt for the Argentines – so intelligent, so beautiful, and yet so impotent; blithely resigned to living under a patently corrupt system that will never see justice.

If you're curious for more about Argentina's dirty dealings ("a labyrinth that leads not to justice, but to new labyrinths") and the people's justified cynicism, this piece is excellent.


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

War Paint!

This is very cool. I'm so honored that artist Paul Richmond has painted me for his series, War Paint. I can always count on Paul's talents to make me better looking than I am! This portrait is titled, His Darkness. Check it out on Paul's website here. "They understand too well the liberation into savagery that the concealing paint brought." – Lord of the Flies, William Golding.

These are the reference photos I sent him a few months ago, so you can see how he improved upon the original. I'm also totally digging the background fleur de lis pattern he created.



Here's more of Paul Richmond's statement on his series:

"Body painting serves a variety of purposes from spiritual cleansing to battle preparation. My War Paint series draws upon this symbolism to investigate the construction of identity. The modern masculine form becomes the canvas, a painted object of his own creation. Reality and abstraction compete with the figurative foundation of each piece to make the subjects' inner struggles more tangible. The application of pigment is suggestive of their psychological states, the color of their self-made armor exposing more than it conceals. This work also challenges conventions around masculinity and the male form. My goal is to invite understandings that reach beyond the immediate surface and reveal the complexity of the individual." 


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Royal National Park

What's the best thing to do when a blizzard's not bearing down? Summer! Had a most magnificent weekend away with friends that first included a trip through the Royal National Park just south of Sydney. Inside is a beach, Watamola (I can only remember this Aboriginal word because it sounds like Guatemala with no G), that's on the ocean but has a lagoon on one side with cliff-jumping rocks!

 A little picnic so perfect...
 Even a kookaburra came by.
Lagoon swim with Sophia.
Rock jumping was filmed multiple times, but this slo-mo suicide is the only time Simon's finger wasn't covering the lens.. 
video

Next stop - outreach surf lifesaving patrol down on a little beach called Coalcliff... life is good.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Fresh Fruits!

Arrrghhh, been a struggle to get into the new year. I might have overdone it at the totally amazing Tropical Fruits Festival up in rural Lismore, NSW, where Mardi Gras meets the State Fair! There were so many of our group camping together on the showgrounds it was almost a compound - with various glamping frills including luxurious blow up pools. 
It was a high concept party theme this year: Art Deco Dance. Jazz Age, but without the prohibition! Lots of Gatsby, flappers and after an agonising few months of deliberation, it was decided that we would go as an army of slutty Charlie Chaplins. Hats off to Denton for coming up with the costume. The worst part about it was having to be silent.
Me and Simon -
Okay, that didn't really happen.
Thanks for the selfie stick, Bam!
The Tramps!
All-night dancing, fireworks, costumes galore, queer cabaret, and ART...
A vintage lifesaver!

It's always a camp check-in with Steve and Jack.
Choreography! Presented by the radical faeries...
Innovative Art Deco statues...

Henry and Josh rented this amazing retro caravan, Lucille.
This thing showed up in our pool, thrashing, and nobody any paid attention!
DJ Kitty Glitter at the decks.
Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

#JeSuisCharlie #Liberte #Solidarite

To be clear: If your god needs to be "avenged", your god is nothing but a pathetic baby and you its suckling slave. The assassination of 12 thinkers at the French satirical newspaper, Charlie Hebdo, in Paris today is yet another outrageous attempt of radical Islam to dim the bulb of civilization. The only way to ensure there can be push back against barbarism is the unfettered freedom to question, criticize and, yes, lampoon your paranoid unscientific delusions. When are we going to be done saying religion is off limits? Nothing is sacred across all divides. Nothing, unfortunately, because we could all choose to sanctify, practice and worship love and kindness.
translation: "Love is stronger than hate." We shall see.
As to those suckling slaves, Salman Rushdie says it best. And he should know:

"Religion, a medieval form of unreason, when combined with modern weaponry, becomes a real threat to our freedoms. This religious totalitarianism has caused a deadly mutation in the heart of Islam and we see the tragic consequences in Paris today. I stand with Charlie Hebdo, as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. “Respect for religion” has become a code phrase meaning “fear of religion.” Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire and, yes, our fearless disrespect."


Friday, December 26, 2014

Merry Xmas!

Happy Christmas! It's always an unconventional holiday down under... I spent it on Bondi Beach with my fellow surf lifesavers on patrol. 
Hope nobody is drowning in the background.
We got there at 6:30 am to set up decorations and breakfast.Welcome to patrol 13, Bam Bam!
The day started cloudy but it all lifted into a perfect summer day, with Bondi calm as a bathtub.


Which made for easy work.... ended up swimming the bay with a few of our crew. Absolutely stunning. And speaking of gorgeous, look at my godson Yonah!! This is from last weekend...



Young to old were in fine form this silly season. We recently hit up my local Legion Club for their holiday party which included entertainment, dinner and UNLIMITED booze, all for just $25. There was a full house of oldies, full band and full-on dancing... and these characters, let me tell you, they are unforgettable.

One old lady came in on a walker assisted by two nurse aides. The aides told me that "Sandy" was in her 90s and had come directly from the hospital. She had recently suffered a stroke, but she was not missing this party! Sandy may have come in a walker but we never saw it again. She was too busy waving her hands in the air on the dance floor.
Sandy, in purple, at left.
The nurses told me that I should refer to her as "sexy Sandy", so I went and chatted with sexy Sandy and discovered she had two horrible husbands, now deceased. When I said I hoped she had a terrific third husband, she replied, "I'm still waiting for him."

And then when the band took a break... who sat down at the piano and started riffing? Sandy.
Sandy at the keys, nurse aides standing by.
Show off!!
When the hour got late, too late for even the nurses who had by that time left the building? Sandy.

Who do I want to be when I grow up? SANDY.



 

Monday, December 22, 2014

Hey, That's Swell!

Check out all these swimmers coming out of the water at the end of the annual Bondi to Bronte ocean swim. I chickened out on doing this one because I'd just done a triple ocean swim up in Curl Curl the day before. So instead I went down to the beach to watch the finishers navigate exiting from Bronte's notoriously gnarly surf.

Reminds me of the end of the Last Unicorn, when all those unicorns are released by evil King Harrod and they come spilling out of the sea.

But the unicorns caught a good wave, didn't they? The swimmers kept getting yanked back by the swell, or slammed into the surf, or sometimes both. Imagine swimming way out into the ocean a couple of kms and then, exhausted, contending with this.
video

Some of those water safety crew had to literally haul people back onto earth. Now I wish I had swum it. I never like to miss a chance to be graceless!

Friday, December 19, 2014

Humanity Held Hostage

Of all places in the world, peaceful and safe Sydney was the site of a saddening, maddening siege this week that left two innocent hostages dead. The people of Sydney have shown their true colors in the aftermath, making #illridewithyou go viral - to show  solidarity with Muslim Australians who feel shunned or bullied wearing their hijabs and burkas.


In addition to sorrow for Tori Johnson and Katrina Dawson and their families, I am sorry for this peaceful, civilized people having to grapple with the fact that some immigrants will never assimilate to their peaceful and open-minded way of life. Liberal, welcoming Sweden is facing tough choices between their values and continuing to import those who will never share their values – for if they don't compromise now they might lose their whole society later. It is an unfortunate conversation, but it is a conversation that absolutely has to happen. 

At the same time, I feel for peace-loving Muslim asylum seekers being held in indefinite off-shore detention by the Australian government. This hostage-taking ISIS wannabe has surely put the last nail in the coffin of their hopes at resettlement in Australia.

 I long for the day that religious fanatacism will be treated for the mental illness that it is. Truly, it is the enemy of our species.

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Paul Richmond Takes Two

Artist Paul Richmond is always up to something imaginative. I was honored to be featured in his male take on female pinups in his Cheesecake Boys series here, and I recently posed again for his War Paint series (take a look at the others on his website). He's already done the base coat of mine and shared these pics of the work in progress. So great. Later I'll be sure to post the originals I sent, and more about his series.... 



Monday, November 24, 2014

Gay Tanks!

Check out these super cute, super soft, fun and frisky GAY TANKS. I'm loving the Hush Poppers print (they're vitamins!) print, Tyrannosaurus Sex, the green camo... I want the whole collection! The new e-commerce clothing brand was begun just this summer by my friend Nikhail, who was a huge help on one of my films years ago, and I'm super excited for his latest venture.


Gay Tanks has already featured in pop up Pride boutiques, stocks at House of LaRue in P-Town and is of course available at the link above. The perfect holiday gift for that cheeky mister... or sister!











Thursday, November 20, 2014

At The Movies With Angelina!

I came third row close to that superstar, idol, inspiration and special envoy to the UNHCR, Angelina Jolie, at the world premiere of her directorial debut Unbroken. I could practically read the tattooed coordinates of her kids' birthplaces!
Here she is taking all kinds of selfies with fans outside for the better part of an hour. And she had a pen for autographs too, just in case anyone wanted to get old fashioned.
Brad Pitt came later and did the same thing. They were incredibly gracious and generous with their time, and it made you realize that you would never want to be that famous.  

Unbroken is the unbelievable true story of Olympic runner and WW2 vet Louis Zamperini. He became very close with Angelina during filming, she even said he was like a father (take that Jon Voight) and only died earlier this year, at the ripe old age of 97.

The film begins with his plane crashing into the ocean where he's stranded for 47 days and only goes downhill from there. He's found by the Japanese navy who toss him into a POW camp where he is savagely beaten, taunted and tortured. Unbroken is, in another word, bleak! Louis ultimately became a champion for forgiveness, but the film doesn't spend show how exactly he got there (was that God on the liferaft?) and certainly not enough of this redemption to lift audiences from the dark horror of humankind.
Jack O'Connell (left) stars as Louis Zamperini. He was pretty well bombed on the red carpet -- and considering what he went through in the film, perfectly understandable!

Have you seen the new Hunger Games - Mockingjay Part 1? The first two in this franchise were great. Who doesn't want to see teens killing each other? But in this one, the third, absolutely nothing happens! The only thing I learned is that Julianne Moore's wig looks like she borrowed it from a corpse in the catacombs and also either they shot films two and three together - or they really took their time in post with this expository trailer for number four because Phillip Seymour Hoffman's been dead for ages!

Then we have that lofty Nightcrawlers -- Jake Gyllenhaal plays an opportunistic ambulance chaser in LA in a suspenseful, well-crafted portrayal of... creepy crawly people. It's nice to see Rene Russo is still around; she comes out of her crypt here looking like a dead ringer for Gena Rowlands and playing a TV producer remarkably as hideous as our lead.

His sexual ambitions and her ambivalent consent combine to make them the most bizarre pairing since she was dating Dustin Hoffman back in the 1995 stinker, Outbreak. Nightcrawlers is not neo noir, it's neo-blech. You're all just sociopaths! And I need to take a bath.


You can restore your faith in humanity with the indie, Pride. Set in Thatcher's UK it's based on the true tale of a group of maligned gays who assist the maligned coal miners on strike in Wales. They were both misunderstood and despised and treated unfairly by the authorities, so they have a lot in common but the rural small-town miners want no help from the gays and eventually even vote to refuse any further funds raised by them, but change happens in the small community and when the strike is all over, guess who comes down the next year to lead the London pride parade to support the gays at the height of AIDS?